You think you can walk on the ground, they call it trust
today i got all the best mail. observe:
1. stina nordenstam cd i ordered like a month ago that i am currently listening to that might be the best cd i now own
2. azure ray cd i ordered that i haven't listened to yet but i am guaranteed goodness
3. a letter (a real live, hand written letter!!) from kathi and some euros from her for my trip

real mail is ___________. put your favorite adjective (positive) there. it's just such hard proof that you exist and in the case of a handwritten letter, that people think about you. maybe it's just becuase i'm a little kid who doesn't pay bills that lives in an e-mail world, but still. it was really close to being christmas.

 i also, however, got the best email from kathi today. she is so funny. just, fun. observe:
"i just read your live journal. i think journalist is a very interesting but also very hard job, aaaand, i think you would be really good at it!
(damn, i'm soo nice) i'm quite jealous, because i have no idea what i could do after school. maybe a forensic doctor...
(don't laugh! i'm serious!!) what do you think? where are my talents? (be nice..but honest)
 i think you should write a long entry about me in your live journal...i want to be famous =)"

so here i am writing about her not because she asked me to but because i happened to get this ____________ letter from her in the mail today and she is just that cool. the whole foreign exchange thing was just that cool. i mean, i get to stay with her over the summer in a wonderful place that is not the united states and she might come back here and visit again. it's just so rewarding/fufilling/fun/humbling/__________. all those things. all of them.

(this is me feeling good and babbling in case you didn't take notice already)

thursday is many things. observe:
1. AP US test that will more than likely fuck me.
2. english project i have spent most of my afternoon preparing for. (see, its a fucking bitch because i really dont even have to try very hard for english, i just do cause i like it, and then i get super fat A's. but in AP US, i try very hard and i don't like it and i get super fat C's. i really want to say "dichotomy" here but i don't think i really know what it means quite right enough)
3. Tegan and Sara show (featuring the girls in dresses)
4. officially the weekend (seeing as there is no school friday)

i completed one of the most amazing, thought-provoking, soul-searching, humbling, eye-opening, enlightening books i have ever read last night. i was about halfway through this book i began on thursday when i got in bed last night to read some more. after about 20 pages, completion of the novel was imminent. i missed zero period this morning because i stayed up until 1:30 reading. what follows now will not be words about the book because they will not even come close to doing it justice. if, however, you have read survivor by the amazing chuck palahniuk and can accept the fact that anything we utter will probably be a travesty to the ___________ work of this man, let's talk. (toshi- check, some girl from 3rd period history- check, brett- check, dave- check)

i simply cannot wait until we go to europe (actually this anxiousness might be the coffee, but nonetheless). after having kathi and denise and julia here, i (and many others) saw how egotistical etc americans are. i hate that i am that. i hate that i can't help that. i guess i do what i can though. i try not to be some ignorant american and i have soem culture with my dad's background but i just didn't know 5 languages by the time i was 15. i guess it doesn't REALLY matter that much and there's no need to get upset over it, i would just like to be so much more worldly than i am. that is what time is for i guess.

so, in the meantime, all i have is time.